10 Week Old Kitten Wins Chess Game
(AP) Unknown, FL. In an unprecedented accomplishment, a 10 week old kitten has won a game of Chess. His opponent conceded to the hyperactive, diabolical feline named Terror yesterday.
“His strategy was just relentless,” said the anonymous owner, the renowned produce designer. “Every morning I would find my pawns spread across the room and cowering under furniture. Terror would deftly sneak up under the cover of night, sometimes sacrificing some of his own pieces, and nearly wipe the board clean.”
Evidence of the violent mayhem was quite apparent and often came without warning or provocation. “It didn’t seem to matter if it was his turn or not,” the tuber tycoon announced.
“The last straw was when he mangled my King and knocked his body parts across the room. A King should not have to endure that kind of treatment. And what he did to the poor Knight was a scene just not fit for print,” he lamented.
“His tactics are just too extreme for these pieces. For the good of those remaining, I felt it best to concede. The cat won.”
Terror had no comment regarding his clandestine raids or of his history making victory. He did indicate he would little miss playing chess as other challenges occupied his abbreviated and errant attention. At that moment, he was noticed to be spying a nearby checkerboard game. His penchant for ambushing hallucinations is well known by those close to him.
(The cat owner’s rendition of the Last Supper, made entirely of french fries is on permanent display in the produce section of the market.)